29 Sep 2016

There are things we cannot admit even to ourselves, Marcus, even in soft whispers. Things we hide like stars in the morning sky.

Creating curated versions of ourselves, safe pieces of an ever-changing puzzle, held together by half truths.

Until someone sees the quick shift of a gaze, the practised smile that bridges an unexpected pause, until someone stretches on tiptoe to see through the crowd of doppelgängers…until like a soaring eagle’s wing, someone, for just a moment, darkens that morning sky.

Until you realise that only you can make your stars shine.

cup your hands
and gather the silent river
the black moon floats in it tonight

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36 thoughts on “29 Sep 2016

  1. This shows such a tender, intimate side but the thoughts are real, with notes of philosophy, and without cheap sentimentalism. This flowed, really flowed, and left me with wanting more.
    I would just like to say that no-one naturally links that lovely condensed haiku like you do. It adds that taste to the prose as a touch of lemon juice does, or cream on the cake. I despair when I see haibun where someone has not been careful at this crucial moment when writing their piece. It makes me feel such relief when I read yours.

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  2. I really love how you have used darkness to describe enlightenment, The metaphor of the blackness backdrop needed for the stars to shine… and the haiku adds that extra dimension. I find the technique in a well crafted haibun slightly similar as what Wallace Stevens did with his blackbirds.

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  3. What a beautiful connection between the prose and haiku. I like the way you have dealt with the theme of an individual’s responsibility for their own happiness.

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  4. Gathering the river seems like such an impossible task, but if one never tries, one never knows—and it’s amazing what cupped hands can do!

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  5. I found this a mixed message of pure delight! Just when I think the character will drop the poses and masks, just when the shadow suggests someone can see the person, the hidden one prefers solitude! But maybe it’s an entire life, and the dark wing is a major loss, a disappointment so huge that the river will refresh only in solitude. Intriguing! It reminds me of me.

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  6. I always love these monologues. This one is intriguing, the final line of the prose is impactful, and the verse is very beautiful.

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